dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

(via the-hands-that-weave)

yosssarian:

if pooh bear can wear a crop top so can i

(Source: captyosssarian, via smegmaparty)

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humansofnewyork:

“In the 70’s, I used to work out at this Gold’s Gym in California, and one day this wrestling promoter comes in and says: ‘I need a black guy, a Chinese guy, and an Indian—- he said Indian, but he meant Native American.’ I happened to be working out with a black friend and a Chinese friend, so I said: ‘We can do it! I can be an Indian!’ So he agreed, and he moved us into this empty warehouse to live. Then he gave us $600 per week to do a bunch of coke and beat the shit out of each other before Roller Girls events.”

the best one i’ve read yet

humansofnewyork:

“In the 70’s, I used to work out at this Gold’s Gym in California, and one day this wrestling promoter comes in and says: ‘I need a black guy, a Chinese guy, and an Indian—- he said Indian, but he meant Native American.’ I happened to be working out with a black friend and a Chinese friend, so I said: ‘We can do it! I can be an Indian!’ So he agreed, and he moved us into this empty warehouse to live. Then he gave us $600 per week to do a bunch of coke and beat the shit out of each other before Roller Girls events.”

the best one i’ve read yet

photo

i was looking through pictures from my trip to nyc with my boyfriend and i realized this is one of the happiest moments of my life.
we had just gotten off the bus from boston to chinatown less than an hour before. i still cant believe that im actually there! we made it to nyc! we check into our hotel then walk around the corner to this authentic new york deli. we get these big ass ruben sandwiches that we completely devour. we were so excited to start our next adventure in the city.
so i’m not just stuffing my face, this is me enjoying the most delicious sandwich in the most amazing city with the most incredible guy.

i was looking through pictures from my trip to nyc with my boyfriend and i realized this is one of the happiest moments of my life.

we had just gotten off the bus from boston to chinatown less than an hour before. i still cant believe that im actually there! we made it to nyc! we check into our hotel then walk around the corner to this authentic new york deli. we get these big ass ruben sandwiches that we completely devour. we were so excited to start our next adventure in the city.

so i’m not just stuffing my face, this is me enjoying the most delicious sandwich in the most amazing city with the most incredible guy.

photos

photo

(Source: karmeng)

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

*gets gay married during the purge*

(via smegmaparty)

two cute guys from down the hall just knocked on my door asking if i had vanilla extract. i didnt have any, but i asked what they were making.

"banana bread. its hella good"

it’s 4 pm on a saturday and these guys are on a mission to try and make some banana bread.

i love college.

photo

(Source: staticforces, via smegmaparty)

Whenever i push my glasses on top of my head i feel like alex from oitnb